So, another month of 2019 has ended. Gotta say, I did not do as well towards this year's goals in Feb as I did in Jan.
The weight that I was starting to lose and the improved eating habits I was started to have took a turn. February got CRAZY busy. Not only have I been having something after work 2-3 nights (or more) each week - which so far is continuing into March, we also had 2 weekends of ETC shows.
I was juggling getting some momentum for both Junior Board events, promoting ETC shows, working ETC shows, trying to establish an accounting system for ETC (which I did), trying to figure out the new structure and other board improvements for ETC, relaunch and regularly post Unending Hugs, move forward on amending the Crisis Center JB by-laws (with feedback from other members), coordinate volunteers at work left and right, outline plans and invite members to start the Leadership Council for GIG, attend networking events, work on Upward assignments, etc.
So, my routine doesn't exist. I work so hard to make headway on so many projects that I end up putting meals off until I'm starving then can't gauge being hungry/full. Don't have the time or energy to cook so eat junk. I definitely didn't get around to doing much work on learning hand lettering - I started a new font but only worked on it a day here or there because of being so busy and needing a break when I got home.
I'm simultaneously proud that I'm making headway on a lot of these projects, but I'm also disappointed that I'm not fitting in or prioritizing some of these more personal aspects that I feel like should be easier to plug in.
I'm feeling existential crises trying to work on the career planning exercises for Upward. I feel like I'm in the same stuck spot that I always am - I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something that I can't define, I feel like I'm supposed to want to be higher up than I actually want to be, and I end up just feeling stressed out.
It's not that I don't like what I'm doing - it's just that since I absolutely under no circumstances want to be in a Director position, I either have to stay in the exact job that I'm in or I make a lateral move to a new org that probably means a drop in pay until I prove myself and move up again. That's a roller coaster that I don't know that I want to stay on. However, I don't know what other options I have.
Ideal unicorn of a job:
- does not often bleed over into non-work hours
- does not require frequent direct social interaction
- does have a lot of variety to my responsibilities so I have creative and organizational outlets
- makes others' lives better in a significant way
- does not require me to move into a major management position
I feel like those are general enough requirements that there should be a lot of options, but they are also a little outside the standard jobs so I don't hear of these kinds of positions all the time.
To some extent, I'm fine winding my way through my career as I have - seeing what happens next. But, I also know that I can only sustain myself in my current position for a few years then I'll be looking for something else in my early-to-late 40s. I feel confident that there is something beyond in store for me, but I don't have a clear picture of what that may be.
Hopefully Upward can help me identify some of this.
