On my way in to work this morning, I was listening to a morning show that was talking about how 20-something ladies today want guys to stop doing chivalrous things like opening the door, ordering for them at a restaurant, and pulling the chair out at the table. It started because one of the younger guys on the show said his girlfriend regularly rebuked him for doing such things.
I think my mouth may have actually been agape. The first time that Doug opened the car door for me, I was greatly impressed. As he has continued to do it - even on just the normal, everyday trip like to Wal-Mart, I have fallen even more in love with him. Thinking of how it makes me feel every time he does it as they were talking about it on the radio not only made me love him more but also made me pity those girls that have never felt that way.
One of the show hosts spoke up and said that guys do it as a sign of respect and as a message that they consider you to be a special person to them. The girls that don't like guys to do these things also usually go for the guys who do not respect them in other ways and do not respect themselves. Spot on!
I started talking about it with Danielle when I got in the office since she is almost 10 years younger than me so I wondered if she was for or against such chivalrous acts. As I told her what the girls had said on the radio show, her eyes got big in disbelief like mine did. She echoed that she appreciated it when her husband did things like that for her.
We started speculating as to what might make girls/ladies today not want to be treated that way. I said that of course it was one of the misconstrued messages from women's liberation - that being feminine or allowing a man to do anything for you means you are weak. I fought with those ideas myself and found my ownership and balance in being independent but connecting to a man in a feminine way that can accept his help. Danielle thought that maybe a lot of the girls had never seen their dad treat their mom that way so they didn't know to recognize it, but I pointed out that I had never seen that kind of interaction between my parents which is why I think I appreciate it more.
I'm sure there are all kinds of complicated reasons for what makes people appreciate or despise certain things in a relationship. All I definitely know is that I have the perfect guy for me, and the fact that we he treats me with respect and I readily accept it is just further proof!
