Today at lunch, we had a small memorial gathering for Karen Cheshire at the office. Earlier this week, the organizers asked if I would be one of the speakers since they had wanted someone in our department to speak. Of course, I accepted.
The memorial started out with out Regional Executive Officer Billy getting into a very somber preacher mode to welcome everyone and say an opening prayer. Then we watched a video of pictures of Karen set to an emotional song. When I lose someone, it usually takes a long time and something small for it to "hit me." Seeing a picture of Karen suddenly made the fact that she isn't here real for me. I really felt the loss in that moment.
First speaker was the board chair in Etowah that had worked rather closely with Karen. He wrote a very God-centered piece that he had written the first day he heard about Karen's death and was trying to process it.
While everything was touching, I was becoming upset that everything was being so dower. Karen was hilarious and energetic. Yes, she apparently killed herself, but that shouldn't tinge the rest person that we knew. Joy - a chapter exec that Karen had gotten especially close to - got up next and lightened the mood a little. She understandably still teared up often, but she was able to talk about the lighter side of Karen while we had only really been hearing about her spiritual side.
Then, it was my turn. I wasn't sure what everyone else was going to say so I had a top 5 list that would be funny but easily adaptable based on what everyone else had said. I really made just about the entire speech up on the spot - thank you, improv classes! I worked in references to what had already been said and how similar all of our memories were which spoke highly of her that she gave the same impression to everyone and was her true self with us all. I went through my list of 5 things that would always remind me of her. I kept a close eye on her sister and long-time friends who had joined us to help gauge if I was bringing up good points to veering into anything painful. I even somehow managed to sum it all up and tie it together that those 5 things were what I would remember, but we would all have out special memories of Karen.
Immediately after the service portion ended, we milled around to chat and ate the food that had been set out for lunch. Everyone told me what a great job I did and were glad that I had helped really lighten the mood. It's a little upsetting to see how surprised everyone was a what a good speaker I am, but I forget that most people here really do only know me for how I am in the office.
I'm very glad that I could contribute to honoring Karen in the was she was - funny, encouraging, fun, and loud. I'll get to do this all over again in a more casual setting with a different group of friends next weekend - and with alcohol.
