Today is the day my job broke me.
All if the personal development and Upward assessments have shown me time and time again that the majority of my job responsibilities is in direct opposition to my strengths, needs, and joy.
I can stretch myself to be social to a point, but now everything I do requires it. I never feel like I cross anything off a list or check a box, I feel like I never get to stop juggling and set something down.
I’m exhausted. I am burned out. Frankly, I am angry that my requests to take assignments that were dumped on me and clearly prevent me from focusing on more important tasks have gone nowhere. Why should I take the time to figure how to ask for help and what help to ask for if it doesn’t happen?
I’m to the point where I am ready to admit that this job has broken me. I’ve been here before in other positions. I know I will feel trapped and just struggle to survive until I can leave.
I no longer want to work in non-profit because I have been taken advantage of and expected to essentially be a work mule. The non-stop, can’t catch your breath, frantic pace is not my happy place.
I don’t give up easily. I hate to fail. I hate to let others down.
I realized today that i’ve never had a job I have said I loved. Work shouldn’t be constant fun time, but it shouldn’t be constant drudgery, either.
I once again relinquish control. I feel I have no power.
