Same Old S---

I know that I shouldn't let it affect me, but it is. Last week was my breaking point at work. On Wednesday, I ended up in tears for hours and then had a migraine for 2 days because of the stress (which I still had to go to work with because 1) I knew Danielle would be out and 2) I knew I had too much work). The bickering of Gary and Linda over everything the other does. Isbell's feeding off of Gary's negativity. Bonnie acting like I have no idea what I'm doing when (not to exaggerate or toot my own horn) I'm practically running this department myself. Danielle constantly having outside-of-work bullshit drama that keeps her from showing up. Sunni being nothing BUT drama. Add on to ALL of that the fact that everyone out in the field things that I'm the friggin' search engine for fundraising and come to me with EVERY question they have, and I'm beyond my limit. Last Thursday, Nicole and I did sit down with Linda and offer solutions to help get the team on the same page - hoping that organization will reduce stress which will reduce the negativity. Honestly, I think we made some great suggestions that are super easy to implement. Granted that I should not be the one to implement them, but since no one else in the department is particularly tech savvy, I took the initiative to go ahead and roll out 2 items: the Week at a Glance spreadsheets where everyone enters their major projects and location plans for the week as well as the Most Accessed Items folder so that files we need most are only 2 clicks away. No one has mentioned them, given feedback or used them yet. THIS IS WHY WE ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE ACTUAL MEETINGS. I just can't help but wonder if we are too far gone for help. Will we just continue on at this rattled, stressed, chaotic, breakdown pace until we all just leave? I don't want to leave, but I worked in an emotionally poisonous workplace for 3 years and I truly believe it was one of the major reasons for my severe health decline over that time. I can't and won't go through that again. I am tired of being the glue to hold this friggin' place together - and of everyone just letting that be the case. Something has to change. I've tried to change or help facilitate changes overall. It's not working. Maybe I will have to do something bigger. Only time will tell.