I don't know if it's the drugs or the universe, but I'm starting to feel like myself again.
I haven't had the guts to ask if those around me can tell a difference (and people at work probably just assume I'm nicer because one of our co-workers left), but - not to jinx it - I'm starting to feel more like my "best self" again.
I've actually been able to thoughtfully complete tasks as well as thinking bigger picture to solve some of my frustrations about projects. For the last 2 days, I've made a list of work projects to complete for the day - AND FINISHED EACH OF THEM without feeling overwhelmed.
I've been chatting with David about work and non-work stuff instead of letting my blood pressure rise thinking about how I'm not working on my endless to-do list and how it will never get done at this pace and I'm going to let everyone down and be a failure (that's what my head sounds like if you could hear my thoughts).
I want to tackle projects - I feel like I CAN tackle projects. The electricity that is buzzing through my muscles now is excitement and ambition instead of anxiety and being overwhelmed.
It's a nice change. God, I hope it keeps going.
