I had an epiphany this morning watching (of all things) Suburgatory. Within the story, the girl in the relationship had gotten hung up worrying that the guy still wanted the old relationship he had been in, but he told her that even though they had lives before they met each other, each moment they shared together brought them closer together.
It made me think about how I have gotten a little jealous when Doug and Sam or Doug and Laura K start reliving memories together because I cared about him so much but wasn't able to share experiences like that with him. As we have had more time together and created our own memories, it bothers me so much less because I do recognize that we are building our life together with everyone else being fun accents.
Then, though, I started realizing that the experience only goes one way. Not that I think Doug would get upset over me sharing memories of stories he wasn't a part of with my friends, but it's not something I do. I have pretty much joined his life (mainly being at his house, with his family, sharing mutual friends). As I have my entire life, I have kept a lot of my life separate.
It's not that I don't want him in it. I do, but it's harder when we don't live together. I'm sure that my music, movies, etc like that will become more of a shared experience when I'm not hauling to his place, making him listen to it while we're driving or making him watch it at night when we're both about to fall asleep. I don't hide anything from him or purposefully keep him away from parts of my life, it's just the way ti happens so far. I'm comfortable doing my own thing if I don't think it matters that he's there. I rarely get any of my friends together so it's natural that I don't drag him along when I hang out.
Still, though, I want to be sure to be aware of this distance that I sort of keep and make sure that it is just part of my natural introverted independence and not a secretive protective mechanism.
I just think so much will change when we live together. I think we will both be able to relax more, it'll be more feasible to cook instead of going out to eat, and laundry will be less of an issue. Of course, it will also be more complicated in a lot of ways, but I have no doubts that we'll adapt. I truly believe we are in a transitional place towards that, and I can't wait!
