Well, Doug and I seem to have cleared at least some of the initial hurdles of starting a relationship this weekend. As Sherri pointed out, I'm not as keyed up and anxious as I was about everything. It's true - I'm kinda settling in and getting used to it all. It helps that it seems to come so naturally. I don't have to think or plan how I'm going to act or react - I'm just me around him, and hopefully he's just himself around me.
I'm incredibly well aware that I am in a very lucky place right now. We are both happy to have caught the other's eye and are still caught up in all the romance and idealism of that. It's so funny, though, that everytime I think to myself "it'd be so sweet if he'd do/say this right now", he does just that. It's unbelievable - as if I have somehow crafted this whole situation. Maybe it's all that prayin' I did for so long :)
Ok, to the nitty gritty of the weekend. Doug picked me up at 6:00 on Friday night to go to dinner at Lovoy's. I was actually running late because I had stopped to buy some props on my way home so I wan't as "fixed up" as I had planned. It didn't matter because he told me how great I looked as soon as he saw me, and I felt comfortable, so that's all that mattered.
Since we had already established at our dinner Tuesday that we're pretty much on the same wavelength, this date was more laid back. I asked if he had told anyone else that we have something going on (still not sure how to term it and don't want to rush to a label - he seems amenable to that). He said that he had told Laura K. I asked if she was ok with it, and he gave me a questioning look. I told him that I know that Laura K likes me, but sometimes it's different when someone you like starts dating someone you care a lot about. He said that she was really happy and supportive - she loves me and sees that he is very happy.
He took that as a chance to ask about how I felt about our group of friends starting to find out - especially our theatre community who can be very gossipy so news spreads like wildfire. I told him that I was happy with what was happening and had no problem with other people knowing or saying anything about it. He said he felt that same way. We also agreed that they all likely just want to see us happy and as long as that's what we are, it's all that matters.
I asked him about something he had brought up in an email, and that kinda set the "here's what may scare you off" tone for the evening :) Even though I vowed in the beginning of this blog not to censor myself or bullshit, that only goes for my own truth. I am not sharing anyone else's - that's for them to do in their own way, so I'm not going to share anything that he told me. But, he shared with me a situation that literally a handful of people know anything about. That meant a lot to me that he already trusts me so soon. That foundation is already there.
Since he had entrusted me with some personal info, I felt that I could share back. It really is just that easy with him for me. I usually have a hard time sharing with people, but I do have a background of trust with him. I don't hold parts of myself back from him like I do with a lot of people. Anyway, I told him that I had been trying to decide whether to do into this early or not, but what the hell - I explained that I've never had a boyfriend or been in a real relationship. So, if I ever seemed wierd or awkward, it was just me trying to figure out what I was doing. He literally sighed as if he were relieved and said, "Ok, good, honesty. No game playing." I said, "God, no, please! No game play!" We both laughed. Seriously, though, I do want us to be honest with each other on all levels, and so far, I think that's happening.
We chatted some more and got to know each other better throughout dinner - which was DELICIOUS! I got the baked ziti - I usually don't like red sauce but I could like off of theirs for the rest of my life and be happy. He asked if I wanted to get their famous Oysters Lovoy as an appetizer because they were really good. I gave him a sly look and asked if he was trying to get me in the mood. He started laughing and was saved by the waitress coming up to get our order.
On the way to my house, he finished sharing some of the mistakes and scrapes he'd been in - concluding with "well, there's my run-for-the-hills story." I said as long as that was in the past, I was fine with it and staying put. I told him, I'd have plenty to make him run later :) We went inside, and I gave him a brief tour of my shoebox apartment. He seemed genuinely impressed and intrigued by all my artwork and collectibles.
As we continued chatting, I realized that I kept nonchalantly referencing being sick or the time when I was really sick. I looked him and asked if he knew all that had happened a couple of years ago when I'd kinda disappeared for a while. He said not really so I took a deep breath and started explaining. I told him about my intestinal infection and getting DVT in both legs which led to a month in the hospital. I told him about having to rush my surgery up for my compromised large intestines and abdominal wall absesses. I had been thinking about when and how I would tell this story, how much I would tell, all of that for when I did get in a relationship ... and then here I was doing it. I paused for a moment to check with myself to make sure I wanted to continue. I told him that that main reason why I was telling him what I was about to tell him was that I expect us to get physical down the road if we keep working as well as we are, and I wanted to be up front. I told him that to save my life, they had removed my large intestine and given me a permanent ileostomy. I made sure he knew what an ileostomy was. He did. I said, "Well, I know that's incredibly sexy and all. I'll understand if that freaks you out or turn you off. That's my run-for-the-hills story." He calmly took my hand, looked me in the eye and said that it didn't freak him out and that it didn't matter to him. It was that moment I've been hoping would happen for almost 2 years now.
We continued holding hands after that while we talked. After a while, we reached a lull. I looked at him and said, "Well, we've been doing well with the talking part. Should be try the kissing part?" Yep, I actually said that. Seriously, I don't know where I get the balls to do some of this. We kissed for a bit, and I said that I was really out of practice (not that it was bad, just letting him know). He said, "You and me both, sister" and immediately countered with "Oh, God, I didn't mean sister!" We both got a good laugh after that. For the rest of the night, we alternated kissing, talking and sitting in each others arms. It was amazing! Of course, neither of us wanted it to end, but we also had the same busy day ahead of us on Sat so he finally left.
I'd had my Josh Ritter station on Pandora while he was there, and I guess I've finally gotten it programmed well because it kept playing really good music. I decided I didn't want to turn it off so I just grabbed a blanket and curled up on the couch. Besides, the music helped make the apartment feel less empty after he left.
On Saturday, we showed up at Theatre Downtown for a set work day. Frustratingly, only 6 or 7 of us (pretty much some board members and me) showed up. Of course, what do you expect after the documentarians threw a cast party at Rojo on Friday night. Bates (who had left the party early), Doug and I (who didn't go) and BR (who had slept at 5th Ave) were there from the show. We are least managed to get the disco ball hung. Doug was the only one willing to go up on the ladder (even though he was freaked out at first) so he did all the "dirty work" while I steadied the ladder. I know it sounds cheesy, but we did make a really good team.
They had a board meeting so I went home to work on some props for the show. He said he'd give me a call after the meeting. About an hour later, he called as I was literally about to walk out the door to kill time while I was waiting for paint to dry on a prop. His timing was uncanny! So, he stopped by and picked me up at my place, and we grabbed a late lunch at Taziki's. He filled me in on the board meeting - almost kinda venting since this was his first meeting as chair and has refined they way they conduct business. Everything he said they balked at or complained about, I said had been the right this to do and was way more professional than the stories I had heard about earlier meetings. He said BR always says he doesn't want to push the board too much b/c they are volunteers who don't get compensated. I said that was bullshit because anyone who sits on the board of any non-profit isn't getting compensated - they are there because they believe in the organization and want to do what they can to help it succeed. A light came on in his eyes, and he said, "Wow, you really get what it means to be on a board!" Then, he asked if I'd be interested in being on the board he is starting to assemble to have in place once he completes the process to make ETC a non-profit entity. He continues to amaze me with his professionalism, knowledge, ambition and passion for his projects.
After we ate, he drove me around UAB, Glen Iris and a couple other neighborhoods to show me his "stomping grounds."
Gotta run for a sec - more later :)
