Fall has been in the air lately with incredibly pleasant temps.
Last night, I made a very Southern dinner (pork chops, squash casserole, and fresh little green peas), and when we sat down to eat, I commented, "Well, I feel like we need to enjoy a little Moonshine for dessert to complete this Southern meal."
After eating, Doug commented, "Do I remember something about moonshine?"
I asked him to pour some for us while I was doing the little bit of clean up in the kitchen.
He asked what flavor I wanted (we purchased several flavors at a little distillery on the way home from our last visit to Lance and Heather's North Georgia cabin). I told him to surprise me but also let me guess the flavor to make it more fun.
After I was done in the kitchen, I joined Doug on the deck where he had set out the mosquito protector and our drinks.
I literally guessed through every moonshine flavor EXCEPT the correct one, and reliving that distillery visit kicked off an hour and a half or so of connection.
We stayed outside on the deck enjoying the beautiful weather and chatting about all kinds of things from Doug's memory of living at his grandparents' house in college to what we might want to do in the future since we should be financially stable for retirement to sharing memories from different points in our lives.
No TV. No phones. Just us.
I even saw a shooting star while we were sitting looking at the sky (Doug, unfortunately missed it).
It was amazing!! If it was getting late and I wasn't also getting cold, I would have stayed there with him for another hour or longer.
When I said I needed to go to bed, Doug asked to play one song to end our time on the deck with. I already knew exactly what song he was going to play, but I didn't have my usual frustration when he starts playing songs or videos. I was connected so I was in.
As he was about to his play, I told him to wait a sec. I went in and turned off the outside deck light and closed Annabel inside so we could just experience the night with the music.
"Nightswimming" by REM played, and I reached for Doug's hand. We held hands, listened to the music, and looked at the night together for the whole song.
It was my favorite night in a long time.
THAT is what I have wanted in our relationship and in our marriage. I felt really, truly connected - and even valued - in a way that I don't know I have since we were first dating.
I've wondering if it was even possible or likely for us to return to that level or if it is just destined to disappear as a relationship grows longer.
It gives me hope that we can rekindle and build towards the relationship that I know we both want but that the constant barrage of the realities of life keeps seeming to take away.
