In the shower this morning - where my best thinking sometimes happens, I thought about a very off-handed joke I made last night. I was telling Doug that I already bought my Dirty Santa gift for his family's Christmas get together. It's still a little weird for me to just assume that I'm automatically invited to his family gatherings, so maybe that's why I said it, but I said "So as long as we don't break up or I'm not invited to your family Christmas, I'm set." He didn't laugh or really so anything so I got a little self conscious about what I said, but I let it go.
The scene came back to me in the shower this morning. So, I started thinking about how absurd the thought of us breaking up is. The only things I could imagine ending our relationship are my dealbreakers in any relationship: physical abuse, drug abuse, or cheating. So, unless Doug just goes COMPLETELY off the rails somehow, those aren't likely to happen.
Then, I started thinking about what it would be like if we did break up at this point. I've never been in a committed romantic relationship so I've (luckily?) never had the experience of dealing with the ending of one, either. I started thinking about what I would miss, how my day and overall life would be changed.
It was then that I realized Doug is my best friend.
I always heard couples say they were dating or married to their best friend, but in my head, I thought that meant they had been friends before and the relationship evolved out of that. This morning, I realized that apparently the opposite is true - you become best friends BECAUSE of the relationship.
The things that I would miss most were having someone to immediately share a funny thing that happened or to get comfort when something went wrong or to share my joy when something went really right. I would miss just knowing that he's in my life - even when we've been so busy that I haven't seen him in days and maybe have barely had a chance to communicate beyond a couple of texts. I just know that if I need him, he's there. Hopefully he feels the same from me.
So, yeah, I'm dating my best friend. We may have been casual friends when this whole thing started, but in addition to the romance, the friendship has developed, too.
The things you learn in life...
