I called in to work today.
I woke up at 7am with the worst period cramps I've had since high school. My stomach, back, and thighs hurt to the point of nausea. It was like I was lying on the floor rolling in misery literally cursing Eve and earnestly praying for the pain to stop.
I panicked. What if that cycle of pain and inability to function starts again with my periods? What if I am able to control the pain and go to work only to descend back into intense pain and have to drive 30 minutes home?
In my daze of pain waiting for the Aleve to kick in and praying my heating pad didn't lose heat like it does, I decided to call in for the day. About an hour later, my lower half finally unknotted.
I literally passed out from the exhaustion of being doubled in pain to wake up a few hours later. Luckily the pain and cramps haven't returned.
I have worked hard to move beyond who I used to be - to do that, I seem to have blocked and completely forgotten most of what happened then. When these ghosts reappear, they knock my knees from beneath me and make me suddenly seem powerless.
I hope that this pain doesn't become a monthly curse like it used to be. At least now, I don't think I will quite so freaked out.
In the meantime, I am thankful not to be writhing on the bathroom floor and enjoying a bit of time to myself.
