I was thinking today about the "it gets better" campaign - videos from celebrities and others to gay youth to let them know that there is hope beyond their current hardships.
In a somewhat rare moment of hightened hope myself, I thought that I would officially record that my life has gotten better. When I was in therapy, we talked about what I was like as a child and what I would tell myself at that time if I could go back. I was overwhelmingly alone and hurting - leading to ongoing suicidal ideations.
From a very young age (I can definitely remember before 1st Grade), I created stories and acted out fantasies to allow myself to escape in some way. I had what I guess is ok to refer to as imaginary friends. I would reimagine something that happened but change what happened into something that highlighted me or ended up with people really liking me.
Honestly, I was doing this - to some extent - even a few years ago. I did realize the psychology behind it, but wondered if it meant that I had a special quality of a writer that led me to develop these stories or if I would stop when I became content with my life. I realized on my way to work the other day that I don't even remember the last time I reimagined something and escaped to one of my stories.
Every thing that I used to feel was missing in my life has come into my life in the last few years - my Crohn's came into remission (thanks to surfery), I found a job that I feel is a good fit with people I like, and I finally found the love of my life that I had been creating a lot of those stories about.
So, yes, it does get better.
