I've been thinking about how amazed I am at the life I have been gifted with and how so much of it has hinged on seemingly small events - events that at the time I somehow sensed were important.
I'm not saying I'm psychic - though I have had some unexplainable events in my life as far as sensing something beyond me, but I distinctly remember feeling almost physically pushed to do something that I now look back on and realize was a fork in the road that has determined my life.
Case #1 - Montevallo. I had fought every mention of attending the school because it was "too close" to Mom and Dad by my independent standards and because I had family members who had already attended. I was so stubbornly set on declaring my path in life that I almost missed out on what was possibly the first positive "life changing" decision. Mom and Dad pursuaded me to visit on my way to visit Grandmom and Granddad. Literally from the moment I stepped on campus, I felt like I was home and that I was supposed to go there. From the time I made that decision, it all fell into place - scholarships, needing to be closer to home because of my health status and meeting the people who shaped who I am today (in a positive way, finally).
Case #2 - Lori. At the time, I felt like just going to a concert at a bar that I had to drive into the "big city" of Birmingham to see was monumental. As I was standing in the small crowd with Allison (who was pretty much up for anything anyway), I remember almost hearing a physical voice in my ear telling me to go up and join the girls by the stage who obviously also knew who John Mayer was (much more of a rarity at the time). I knew in that moment, somehow, that this was not going to be some casual event and that this was a decision with greater importance than it seemed. Not only did I begin 2 long-lasting friendships (I met Angela that night, too) that I can't imagine my life without, that meeting led to later meeting - and unusual connecting with - Sherri. Talk about shaping my life!
Case #3 - Muse of Fire. That actually began with a passionate conviction that I needed to put on a performance of "The Vagina Monologues" in Birmingham. Though I ended up just peripherally helping out with a UAB production instead, I did stumble across the early advertisements for Muse of Fire's first Fall Showcase. I loved the idea and emailed the contact address to offer myself as a volunteer in any capacity possible. That's not when the "do this" epiphany happened (though my involvement and passion for addressing violence against women led me to my eventual involvement as a rape advocate). I remember coming back from my trip to visit Sarah in NJ (and being in a serious Crohn's flare), deciding I needed to take a break from all non-work activities, and immediately getting an email out of the blue from Elizabeth asking of I was interested in Stage Managing for Muse. I felt that same electrical current of recognition that this was a once-in-a-lifetime (at least my lifetime) opportunity. If I had not said "yes," I would not have the immense circle of friends that continues to grow, would not have the life I have now and would not be the confident, social person I have become. I can practically draw a graph charting the changes in myself.
I believe in intuition. I don't know if it's God talking to us or us tapping into something beyond this world, but I know that if I listen to it, I am closer to being on the path for my life. I do feel like there is some alternative of my life still in existence - or at least in possiblity. I try to remain aware of how my life could have been if I had made any different choice so that I remember how far I've come and how blessed I am.
All of this is what makes me believe, with all my being, that I am being led to Seattle somehow, sometime.
I'm just wondering what decision will take me to that path.
